garbage garage

2010-03-26T04:53:00.002+08:00

i dont know why i cant bring myself to study.

Help?

2010-03-20T04:14:00.002+08:00

its already 2010. Boy, how time flies..

So far, I've been fortunate enough to experience winter in Hokkaido in Feb and a madass shopping trip in Bangkok in Mar. Now, logically, its time to study my ass off what could be my last exams ever!

I'm never known to be rational anyway. Hence logic is very subtle.

If only i treat the exams like playing mahjong..

That aside, i've received news i would gladly have wanted to avoid. So many unpleasant things happening to people i care about, not enoigh heart to go out for them.

So dear Lord, please work your magic. Love.

2009-10-15T04:37:00.002+08:00

OKTOBER

its been long. i have nothing to say.

because apparently, when you have alot to do in life, you'll realise that you'll have absolutely not enough time to spill out anything online at all.

basically its due to the fact that turning the computer ON is considered time wasting.

regardless, i miss travelling. i wanna do it somemore.

but alas, money is not falling down from the sky. so its still school for me. and i figure that i should appreciate whats left of my academic semester because frankly speaking, i'm in my last yr.

and i dont know if i'm gonna (be able to afford) furthering my education anymore.

so it means the work season will commence. and i stand by my statement that WORK SUCKS.

i dread it. but i have to cos my dear dear parents decided that us, kids are old enough to do self-sustainance. to put words into play, they are actually eloping to France next friday, leaving the brother and i to fend for ourselves for 2weeks.

home alone is so not fun. and omg 2 bloody weeks of not seeing them sucks. knowing that they are having the time of their lives in these 2 weeks without US is even worse. thanks alot parents! (love you still!)

on another note, i think i'm becoming a nerd. will elaborate again (if i find the time).

in the meantime, i need a cure for insomnia. period.

2009-08-01T22:17:00.002+08:00

AT STREET 24

Because i find it intolerable, i walked out. Not knowing where or what to go to, the destination in mind was just to-find-peace.

I finally found it at a parkbench where there was almost nobody. Under the dim lights reflected from the hdb flats' corridors, i sat crosslegged, with my mag in tow, closed.

I whipped out my phone, willing negativity away, but to no avail. I tried feigning ignorance, it didnt work. After what seemed like a million other alternatives, i finally looked back, not knowing what exactly was i hoping to find.

Wrong move, kat.

Cos now i know with all my heart, that work superceded me. F you.

2009-06-17T23:26:00.001+08:00

830-530 AGAIN

I just watched the youth hockey thing at sengkang with bob. Singapore was playing Russia (which they lost 3-4) but i was at the other pitch watching kiwis and the koalas. (by that i meant NZ vs Australia). Kiwis lost 0-2.

Sigh. I miss being amongst the kiwis.

Anyway, just shortly after my fabulous getaway, i'm already sucked back into the dreadful deskwork. And this time at a different deepartment.

Omg really. Reality wasted no time in bringing me back to the 'must make dough to survive' mode. Reality likes to play bitch. ha.

I wanna go back to the planning department laaaaa.

Imma pray for that tonight.

And because of work tmr, its goodnight for now.

2009-06-08T17:32:00.002+08:00

ALL BLACKS.

The weather is so damn fine over here in Rotorua.

I wish it, meaning the holiday, could last, indefinitely.

Of course, not forgetting with the addition of ALL of the ppl that matter. (yes you too bob).

I'm 4 hrs ahead of SG time. So its goodnight for here. (: ttyl.

2009-06-06T16:40:00.003+08:00

T minus today.

you would think that after the exams, i'll be free-er than i was during study period. but nooooooooooo.

we tend to plan our lives without the possibility of 'unforseen circumstances'.

i thought this week would be a week for me to tie up loose ends, finish my packing, run finish my household errands and yadayada.

thought doesnt always coincide with reality.

i've never been so mentally phased out in a school-holiday period before. and its only week1!

due to the current swine flu-hype, it is only SMART for ppl with impending travel plans to not fall sick. even the common (always negligible) cough and runny nose should not pose as a problem. but, life is in a whole different swing.

my dad is having some runny nose problems, my mom is having sorethroat/cough. in short, they are both KO-ed for this whole week and are confined to less mentally-taxing tasks because they HAVE TO be well enough to pass through customs.

so its left to the brother and i to do the necessary. BUT, with the car issue, transportation and the cost itself is seriously uncalled for (if idiot over there drove properly). also, the internet modem broke down a few days ago and that warrants someone to go down to payalebar area for an exchange.

oh. and esea is really *adjlsklkjfsernlfajlru!! i feel so manipulated for my skills. hahah. i need a job that gives me job security due the end of august! not for "to-fill-in-the-gap" scenarios!

and DID YOU KNOW WINTER CLOTHES COST LIKE 7401385013703840813million dollars?!!!!

omg. so not good for the current economic crisis at home!

i'm sorry that i cant meet you all enough before you all enlist (figo & vincent).
:(

i'm sorry to the friends that i'm supposed to meet up for coffee with after the exams!
:(

i'm sorry to grandma! (i've not seen you for like a month!)

bahhhh. (many many more sorrys that are yet to be mentioned!)

...........

NZ better be worth it.

2009-06-04T14:57:00.002+08:00

mother F.

i got into a minor car accident, at Sengkang East Way, just outside the bustop of compasspoint. it happened on tues(june2). but, IT WAS NOT MY FAULT.

i was driving on lane1(extreme right), and this grey mercedes E240 'SFM 7909T' suddenly came out from his filter lane(on the extreme left side of the road), swerved 3 lanes and cut in front of me.

like what the hell! it was like he was driving horizontally!

i was obviously quite far away from him, and he obviously was super reckless in his driving skills. firstly, asshole didnt check clear before coming out, and secondly, he drove as if he didnt see my car!

i mean, it could go bothways if i was on lane 3, the lane which he would have merged into from the filter road, BUT OMG, i was at lane 1!!!

DO YOU KNOW HOW FAR AWAY THAT IS FOR SOMEONE TO BE CUTTING IN?

anyway, he swung his tail into the left front side of my car. i literally stopped when i heard the 'thud', but that asshole just continued driving. so you could hear the metal scratching and the whole "zrattttttttt" thing.

so after hitting and overtaking me, HE DROVE OFF. wtf!

i gave chase and repeatedly horned him. he only stopped after turning right at Sengkang East Road, travelling towards TPE. that was like a whole 200M-300M away!

ME: hey uncle! why didnt you stop?

ASSHOLE: why?

ME: (increasingly irritated) you swerved into my lane and banged my car, didnt you know? cant you feel it?

ASSHOLE: you bang me from behind what, its your fault.

ME: WHHHHHHHAAAAAATTT? you came in from the filter lane, and if you went to proper basic theory lessons, you would have known that in such cases, you are only allowed to go into the most left lane, BUT YOU CAME CUTTING THROUGH 3 LANES TO LANE 1.

and then he shut up.

after all the hoohah, i reported in to the insurance agent and done the necessary. that man, that pompous OLD man didnt wanna do a private settlement. he appeared so damn confident of himself and his money. it seemed that going through the whole insurance claiming was nothing as compared to just paying me for my damages.

that was tuesday.

so this morning (thursday), he called me. i got woken up from my sleep to a call from "car banger - tay poh cheok".

ASSHOLE: i think we should settle it ourselves, you pay for your own car damages and i'll tend to mine because i'm intending to change my mercedes.

ME: (seriously waking up in the morning to this is sooo not cool) HUH? but if i didnt meet you, if you didnt hit me, i wouldnt have to pay for anything to do with my car anyway!

ASSHOLE: but i'm going to change my car you see.. so you go talk to you insurance agent then get back to me.

i have sooo many __ thoughts in my head right now about the whole incident.

so in the end, the compromise was that he was to pay me $150 for the damages and all is settled. I AM SOOOO NOT HAPPY AND I HAVE LITERALLY NO SAY OVER IT BECAUSE APPARENTLY I'M TOO YOUNG TO SAY/KNOW ANYTHING IN THE EYES OF THE ADULTS.

my repairs, will cost more. the lost of car usage means something to me as well and omg all the guy is gonna pay is just 150bucks.

SFM 7909T was the mercedes car that hit me. Tay Poh Cheok is the driver.

and i know 150bucks is NOT enough to make me forget this thing.

i hate this injustice. i hate the whole "lets just get it settled lahhh. at least he is paying something"

my only consolation is that i hope the car he is changing his merc to is a chery QQ.

2009-05-30T03:07:00.002+08:00

ALOHA

Its over. The exams are over! Teehee.

Imma welcome my holidays with open arms. Hello bob, time to take over the world! (:

Goodnight.

2009-05-23T23:19:00.002+08:00

A SERIES OF _ EVENTS

congratulations to Kris Allen for winning AI.

(but omg how can Adam NOT win! sheesh. come to Asia if your people dont appreciate you as much please.) i am not a fan of KISS. but Adam was a good motivating factor. ugh.

regardless, Kara Dioguardi ftw! (:

ever since managerial econs ended, i have started enjoying my 'break'. i've finished the only available box of the taiwanese "Queen of No Marriage" and the Korean drama "Boys Over Flowers". i have slept in almost everyday and ate positively like a fat cow too. and guess what,

i still have hrm on the coming friday!

knowing my affinity with this subject, you would think that i have the common sense to make full use of this 14days to mug for that paper. haha.

i surprise myself too, nonetheless.

and just when i've convinced myself that i have absolutely no other procrastination-proned alternative left to studying, i have to get a sore eye.

and it has not yet gone away for 3days already.

perfecto.

2009-05-12T15:01:00.001+08:00

ITS MAY 12TH.

ord lo.

then macro tmr and managerial econs on thursday.

life is bittersweet. tsk.

2009-05-09T15:01:00.002+08:00

THANK YOU CHOCOLATE MAN.

the only good part of yesterday was the lady singer at the hk-ish restaurant. she's really really good. serenades with her soothing voice, effects akin to that of corinne may's. when she do her mandarin renditions, it kinda like hearing tanya chua.

if you get my drift. fantastic.

like all times, you can never really really have one extremely good day. its not that you dont want to, its because you let other people affect your mood. haha. true to it, i let one asshole do it.

really. asshole. and i'm not going to take the term back just because youve apologized for what you did to me.

maybe if you tried screaming to the same crowd, i might consider. ha.

then again, perhaps i may not feel like it.

either way, i got what i need. its high time i started studying, again. ughhh. i hope time snails through.

i pray for luck. thanks.

2009-05-07T13:04:00.003+08:00

COUNTDOWN over.

Today is the 7th.

I'm sitting at expo's coffeebean, staring out of the window, my gaze fixated on the grounds outside hall3. Hall3, is my exam hall where i'm going to be taking my sociology exam.

It starts at 230pm. due to the current swine flu, we've gotta report an hour earlier for temeprature taking. But i was here since 1245pm. Haha.

Eager, i know.

Everyone around me is trying to cram notes into their brains. Whispering to themselves,scratching their heads furiously. There's this one guy who actually gestures to no one in particular. (none from my class, HAHA)

LOL. I know how goffman feels. If it wasnt because coffeebean was situated just above the hall, you would have thought that these young people were mental.

I, despite this peer pressure, am still sitting here, oblivious to the wasting of time. I actually feel peace.

I hope slow and steady wins the race! (: Haha.

2009-05-05T04:04:00.002+08:00

040509

if only you can read my mind.

its been one year. technically, one year and a day because its past midnight.

we had dinner over at grandma's. somehow the atmosphere seemed sombre and a tad heavier than usual. no one talked about him. no one lament over anything in particular. no one did anything out of the ordinary.

we have the grandmother rushing us to 'come eat and finish the food'. we have the aunties asking the young ones how to operate their latest tech toys. we have the males reading newspapers or watching the telly after dinner. we have the kids being drawn to the wii and the computer. we even have desserts. its as if everyone just came together without 'that' reason. its as if everyone tried to ignore because its more convenient.

at 8, however, it happened. everyone of us gathered at the altar, and prayed. we did the Divine Mercy prayer in English and another prayer in Teochew. its been almost more than half a year since we last did it, but somehow it felt close to each of our hearts.

close, almost raw feeling, like the unfortunate just happened not too long ago. the prayer, like a key, was the cue to let the facade go. some started letting their tears fall, some bit it back. without a doubt, everyone missed him.

i miss him. badly. when i close my eyes and willed my fences away, i can almost see the whole re-enactment of that day in my head. it doesnt get easier to cope, or swallow. it doesnt really sink in.

how can someone so present in your life just stop being there. everytime when i feel brave enough to let my thoughts wander to him, i end up shutting myself from the world. because in the real world, he doesnt exist anymore. in the real world, i cant feel his presense, i cant hear him, i cant touch him and i cant even see him. in the real world, anything that associates with the void that he left me with brings about heartache.

immense sadness, and tears.

but the world still goes on. nothing stops for change. nothing stops for loss. everyone in the family still goes to work and school, still argues when there are disagreements, still laugh and meet up. we still celebrate major holidays together, we still (try) to have the same fun.

of course, life for my family still stays more or less the same, albeit the omission of Father's Day and the oldman's birthday (which have more or less become taboos).

life sucks like that.

and before you know it, its a new day. its already the 5th of May.

2009-05-02T14:24:00.002+08:00

MAYDAY, MEYHAM.

Its finally here. Time has once again managed to creep by in stealth mode to allow this (dreadful) 5th month to suffice.

Labour day is over. Ha. It didnt really impact significantly on my current life though. Wasted.

Then the 4th is coming.. I miss you still, old man! (:

Followed by the exams on the 7th. Ha.

Life isnt fun now man! Sheesh

2009-04-23T22:22:00.002+08:00

WHAT MATTERS MOST

two words: Susan Boyle.

she has the confidence, the talent and that God-given gift of a beautiful voice. she's humble, courageous and strong. she, is the epitome of power.

she alone showed the world that it only takes 3seconds to change a stranger's perspective of their first impression of you with whatever beauty you have within. she demonstrated that whatever we have going on on the exterior is clearly irrelevant to indicators of us being unique individuals.

no one went on a talent show because their talent was how good-looking they were. even beauty pageants have talent segments, you dont see their contestants just standing there showing off their faces and doing nothing else.

i wanna effect that kind of 'awe' in people. i wanna be like her in this sense.

haha. but thats going to take a million years of effort and one huge miracle.

because looking at myself now, i have completely nothing to show for.

2009-04-15T01:44:00.002+08:00

SHITake MUSHROOMS

Look at the current date. So awesome.

I have been officially crowned President of all school bums. In order to qualify, i just have to do absolutely nothing educationally.

Hence, its a walkover for me.

Ha. I hereby declare that I sucketh, true shrek-style.

2009-04-07T01:55:00.002+08:00

COULD BE BETTER.

I have 200bucks left in my acct till the month ending april.
I have an unpaid phone bill of 115dollars.
I have to spend 70bucks on my contact lens.
Friends are mostly turning 21, which means more money needed for gifts.
I havent book the hotel for my bk trip.
Bob is having his birthday soon.
I owe my brother money.
I have exams soon, and i know nothing.
I have no motivation to complete my education as of now.
I got totally drenched when i arrived at school today.
I had to trouble my friend to fetch me with her umbrella, and she ended up feeling cold.
I had to sit through class in wet clothes.
I think i'm getting really sick.
I am feeling inadequate.
And nothing seems to ever work well anymore.

So you were saying about your bad day?..

Tsk.

2009-04-05T03:32:00.003+08:00

CIRCLES

Bob and I are plagued with financial sorrows. It seems like the allowance/pay doesnt come faster than the end of the current month! So bloody infuriating.

I think the govt is trying to makes us pay back the gaping hole left in their reserves by increasing the cost for practically everything. They should really look into revising their transportation cost. I mean, it'd be a real waste of money (think millions) if ppl actually stopped paying for overpriced mrt/bus fares.

And then they'll hafta spend somemore to remove their 'old' transport means to build new ones. Tsk.

I went to ubin recently. You would think that since its an ulu place you would spend very minimally right? Wrong! the ferry to and fro already cost 5bucks! And the ferry doesnt leave on scheduled timings so waiting is a must. And we all know how to some ppl, time equates money. So there.

So much for cheap escapades. I bet the reason why the ubin ppl priced their services in that manner is because they were modelling after the mainland ppl.

After all, we are still 'one' Singapore..

I love my country, inevitably. I just dont want any more reasons to love it less.

And making the people (or me) feel the pinch of 'small' scale inflation is doing the exact opposite!

Gosh. I'm rambling already. Goodnight.

2009-03-31T02:46:00.002+08:00

ESCAPADE.

I went over to ili's today and finally got acquainted with Rosie and Carol. (both ladies i recognise by their physical attributes. HA!) Anyway, we literally "jammed". Lol.

And to think studying should be perogative no.1. Tsk.

Life works in funny ways. We tend to point out how uncaring the people we care about are, and yet neglect the care from those we dont normally think about before going to bed.

Herein lies the bait for the term "taking for granted", which leads to its best friend: regret.

Then again, greed is an innate nature to all, and we tend to expect TOO much. In turn, we prioritise our own needs before the needs of those we care about.. Which in short just shows us how easily we fall prey to the very 'uncaring' nature we dislike in human beings.

And the cycle goes on. And on. And on.

haha. Then before you know it, the people in question would have in some way left your life.

Lol.

Goodnight!

2009-03-20T00:49:00.002+08:00

HELLO.

in an effort to further strengthen my family bond, my dad gamely decided to go for one of my in-the-moment idea and change phones for all of us. haha. now we are unionised. haha.

this is the phone my parents got! my dad got the black one and my mom got the white.

my brother and i got this! mine is red and his is blue.

lol.

actually if it wasnt for the month of march (that happens to be both my parents' birthday month), this wouldnt have even happen. the folks were just thinking of birthday gifts for each other, the children, meaning us, just went along for the ride.

lucky us, i guess.

hahah. thank you.

2009-03-17T03:01:00.002+08:00

UNPRECEDENTED.

of all the things to get remotely interested in, it had to be this.

I could have tried studying, reading the lecture notes, counting the days/hours/seconds left to my first paper or even try updating my calender. but no! i can do one million other things in the world and yet i still find myself sitting on my papasan.

sitting on my papasan while switching my telly to live. haha. sometimes i'm amazed at my own capability to go against my willpower.

bizarre irony there. lol.

regardless, thats not that bad. you know whats worse?

haha.

I'M NOW OFFICIALLY ADDICTED TO "GREY'S ANATOMY".
shit!

2009-03-12T11:27:00.002+08:00

YELLOW FELLOW

i'm supposed to be in school for my (secret) sociology class right at this instant! but, my trusty alarm clock is really being a bitch.

somehow, time stopped for it and it becomes Phuket timing. sheesh. the other day it went to the France timing. imma go get new batteries for it later, because flicking/spinning it back to Singapore time doesn't work anymore.

i still dont understand how can i not know that Vincent was going to conduct this class on globalisation. even Stansfield doesn't know. haha.

anyhow, i'm going to make it a productive day. at least, relative to my other days. time, unlike that of my clock, actually runs out. tsk.

and i can't have the guitar as a distraction because my fingers are all sore. (ILI YOU BETTER PUT DOWN YOUR GIT AND PLUCK OUT YOUR AMP TOO).

and going out isnt really an option because i'm so financially strapped down. everyone is turning 21! even people you dont really know starts inviting you over to their celebration. and then you can't possibly go empty-handed, right?

i think its all part of a scam to get alot of presents. and the price tags on these gifts are supposingly higher than that of normal birthdays. hahaha. of course, this is fueled by a well-deserved right because 21 is a unspoken commencement age for total freedom. once a lifetime somemore.

but i've go to admit, not everyone thinks like that. some just genuinely wanna celebrate that special day with people.

lol. despite that, i can so confidently name a few that have a definite alternative agenda! hahaha. shameless beings. i'm thinking of just getting them a keychain for their "key".

haha. i'm serious.

that aside, i'm going to start off my day now..

its makan time.

2009-03-09T22:26:00.002+08:00

ITS A SUB SUPPER.

i slept a full 10 hours till 130pm today. woke up with my head feeling all heavy and fuzzy. but the sleep felt gooood. haha.

and i've been eating alot recently. am so freaking addicted to the dark kitkat chocolates and also any fastfood joint that provides jalapeno peppers! and all these are being consumed at hours that are so forbidden! haha.

jialat laa..

i bought an issue of 8days just now. jamie yeo is on the cover and they are interviewing both her and glenn ong about their marriage woes, which is now a divorce if i'm not wrong. its not even finalised yet and glenn ong is already with jean danker and jamie is rumoured to be dating this angmoh guy.

madness, really. and i think the interviews done by 8days with these 2 people are really dumb. immature for people of their social standing. not to mention, their age.

and oh, i read somewhere that rihanna and chris brown are engaged/married.

hahahahha.

so now the world is increasingly advocating that marriage isnt sacred and divorce isnt really a bad thing anymore.

horrible way to live life. this is why some good people dont take the leap of faith.

tsk.

2009-03-01T23:13:00.002+08:00

SUNDAY FAMILY

my brother and i, finally, attended 9am mass together. albeit being late, it is really a big thing. (applause please)

saw dada, gabe and marc after what seemed like so long. haha. these are 3 of the few people i think of whenever ppl ask me about whats good about going church.

ohwell. we grew up.

had lunch with my family, something i've missed doing. haha. on hindsight, i've really been forsaking them these past few weeks. sheesh.

k anyway, i now own hsm3 dvd! lol. awesome awesome awesome. i cant wait to watch it everyday. hahaha.

no, really i'm serious. (:

2009-03-01T03:11:00.002+08:00

THE LATE POST

on feb 27, i went over to celebrate my cousin's 14th birthday! haha. the brother and i loaded the car with the whole xbox30 console along with the whole guitarhero worldtour knickknacks and drove all the way, with the birthday cake in tow over to my grandma's.

we look like fools leaving our house, seriously. we each had a guitar slung on our backs, my bro had to balance the drumset stand on his shoulders while carrying the drumpads and i had the duty of carrying and making sure that the bag filled with the console, foot pedal, mike and cables dont break whilst doing the misc of door opening and lift holding.

lost 2 pounds just making our way to the car.

anyway, skip skip skip. we arrived and had ultra quick dinner, sang the song in 4 different versions, cut the icecrm cake which was starting to melt under human procrastination and then finally came the jamming part.

pwhoar. the true gh experience. haha. fun!

at midnight, we packed up and headed home. the thought of just packing up the whole thing again so that it becomes more travel-friendly made us lose another 2 pounds.

seriously, its way more effective than playing wii-fit.

haha.

today was another fun day. thanks bob. (:

reached home by 11 and was "forced" by my brother to make a supper trip over to carl's junior to try the angus beef burger aka thickburger. omg it was sooooooo good. we totally almost lost ourselves at the salsa bar because of the addiction to their jalapeno peppers. good stuff.

in other words, i'm really being very unproductive, study-wise. shit.

i shall go repent now. bye.

2009-02-28T00:54:00.000+08:00

IN LIGHT OF RECENT EVENTS..

its britney, bitch.

(HAHA.)

2009-02-26T14:24:00.002+08:00

SUPERWOMAN

i was on the phone for a tad too long last night. it was really an eye(ear)-opener.

in the end, all i remembered from it was
"wah, you're really childish. bye".

if someone can say this, he/she must be either ahead in years in terms of maturity or life experiences.

but seriously, you aint all that.

you are not anything to me, anymore.

2009-02-25T17:01:00.002+08:00

TODAY, I LET MYSELF DOWN AGAIN

i totally suck as a person.

i should take action so that good things wont only happen in my head.

i should cease with the waiting for something better to come along, because having something is always better than having none.

i should stop being a sloth.

i should be better.

i should go to church later.

right.

2009-02-24T00:00:00.003+08:00

WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS NOW.

sometimes being good is hard. yesterday night i decided to tackle POA from scratch and throughout the whole stupid 3hrs, i didnt move away from the book. finally, i know what the hell a "trial balance" means.

with that, my neck didnt wanna move anymore.

i woke up this morning, with a freaking stiff neck. hurts like crap, seriously. i cant bend my head down to save my life. haha.

i feel like giving up my studying plan also, since trying doesnt really pay well.

but i shant.

anyway, do watch the 81st Academy Awards! its awesome. lol.

at least they had fun. (:

2009-02-23T00:59:00.002+08:00

WHAT IF ONE DAY YOU WAKE UP..

i know i haven't been blogging. haha. both laptops have been down. totally cut off from the cyberworld there but still, i survived.

dont think i can say the same if the tv went down though. i'll prolly die.

regardless, life has been evolving rapidly for me. just a mere few weeks, i've probably experienced more emotions than i have in 2008. (note: more different emotions, not most extreme emotions).

i'm so tired of the drama. the actors arent quite cutting me slack. school has suddenly become a haven of some sort for the last week. i realised that help isnt going to come knocking on my door if i dont bother putting a welcome-mat. ha.

and also people who claims they care, may actually only mean it with a hidden clause. ohwell. decisions decisions.

on another note, i am most probably going to bkk in september 2009. (by hook or by crook).

like finally..

alright. bye.

2009-02-03T22:08:00.002+08:00

ALLSTAR

life is interesting. complicating is only a negative way to put it. i'm trying to start out with a little more zest. and a pinch of optimism.

i.hope.it.works.this.time

it feels so weird being home at this time. its a little too early. even with tv programs airing, it doesnt feel right.

or maybe its because the energy at home isnt as calming as i like it to be. maybe thats why i need to get out.

for a while.

anyway, i'm going to start to learn a new skill. (before my current cash flow goes dry). dont know what though.

too many things too little time.

ohwell. till then..

2009-01-24T22:49:00.002+08:00

BUSYBEE

i am doing a meek attempt to work towards being more Chinese. i'm actually going to wash my (super super dirty) car and then prolly clear the tornado-like mess in my room all before the eve of CNY goes away.

i'm actually going to make resolutions for this lunar new year. haha. like start anew and all that jargon.

then tmr i'll be going over to my grandma's for reunion dinner and prolly head over to chinatown (first bloody time in my life) to literally get in the hype.

and mess with the sticky noisy (smelly?) crowd. the joy..

hah. such change.

alright its bath time for the vehicle.

bye!

2009-01-23T23:15:00.002+08:00

REPENTANCE

i dont get it. i'm not busying my life with anything, so there's basically nothing i should be feeling pent-up about. nothing not of the personal level.

i think it strongly has to do with the anal-retentiveness from a certain fella that i see the most everyday. STOP IT LA YOU.

such negativity in the influence. get an outlet, brother. try the "laughing sessions" advertised outside srjc. ha.

and i'm going to help myself too. i'm going to shit it out.

bye!

2009-01-21T17:04:00.002+08:00

HELLO EARTH

i'm glad i didnt make any New Year's resolution because i'm sure i haven't been up to any good recently.

hence to put it simply, to prevent any disappointments, i dont make any expectations.

ha!

anyway the Lunar New Year is coming. i dont feel the hype in me yet. maybe tmr it'd be different.

maybe tmr i'll have more things to rant about.

maybe tmr i'll be so busy i wont even go online.

haha.

for now i'll just settle for the ellen show.

bye. i hope all your days are way more well spent than mine! (:

2009-01-07T14:38:00.002+08:00

DONKEY KONG.

its seven days into 2009. hahah. i am definitely far from being productive with my life.

i dont believe in making new year resolutions because procrastination is King. haha. there's always something else or some other excuse or some other relatively "more" important thing to do.

i went to soccer yesterday after skipping it for four consecutive weeks. i'm so battered and sore i would pay for butler service. sheesh.

i missed chilling out late in the night over a cup of coffee or whatsoever beverage and just talking about anything under the sun. like what i did with qw ytd night. its been long.

anyway, question. what do you do, if someone who abruptly chose to (stubbornly and conceitedly) disappear from your life decide to come back knocking again?

do you let the fella in because you dont care anymore or do you shut the fella out because you do?

life is draining.

thank god for happy pills and legal vices. haha.

2008-12-31T21:45:00.002+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HOLIDAYS

nostalgic Nsync' song. haha. christmas this year was awesome. and in a blink of an eye, its New Year's eve already.

hello 2009. i hope youre wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy better than 2008.

2008 was a year full of departures and losses. sucks.

the inevitable change wasnt being kind. anyway. lets be optimistic.

i hope the new year brings joy and good fortune. i hope it brings peace and serenity to the hearts and minds of people. i hope it heals the economy of its crisis. i hope people stop complaining not because they've given up but because there will be nothing to complain about.

haha.

right now, i hope this new year deals me a good hand. i'm sick and tired of being a closet worry wart.

alright. happy countdown cool people! (:

2008-12-10T22:45:00.003+08:00

POST; NEW.

i, despite all the brain damage i almost had from the past events that occured, managed to scramble out of the house this morning, and sit through my M.E paper.

i feel very very proud of myself. hahaha. i have absolute confidence that i have at least written my name right.

then after, i went xmas shopping with bob.

and so i missed 645. (maybe not so accidentally). haha.

alright i'm beat. bye.

2008-12-05T15:19:00.002+08:00

I'D LIKE TO CLOSE THE DOOR IN YOUR FACE.

people are getting irritating. there is no such thing as a saving grace for them. everyone get consumed by their own damn problem and treats the rest of the world as if they stoled their rib.

imma want to scream in all their faces. because there is no such thing as a decent wake up call.

i cant believe the people i see that are the closest around me (i have one asshole in mind and if you think its you, please think if youre that deserving) are the most useless. you can go around screwing up your life if it pleases you, because honestly, if it makes you happy then i'll be happy for you too. BUT, dont go around taking the liberty of messing up the lives of others as well.

if you all are so god damn right all the time, why havent' you invented something better than gravity. something that'd make me eat my own words.

its the christmas season and i dont see any spirit of giving. perhaps you all interpreted that as other others doing the giving and you all just doing the receiving. ha. like all selfish men, you will then be a masochistic pig.

girls are annoying because they tend to dramatise things. but MEN who do the same just take it up a few notches. and most men that i see are just plain whiny idiots. they drown in their own sorrows (because they THINK that nobody else understands them) and puts the blame on everyone else. seriously if you all continue to think that way, i shall stop trying to convince y'all otherwise.

all your assumptions are just attempts to make me see how brain dead you all are.

if i have the honour to do a slap, i wont. because i am tired.

no wonder they say good men are either all married or gay. these are the men who will understand that there are bigger problems out there in the world, these are the men who have feelings and are sensitive to others. these men consider the repercussions of their actions and if it affects those who really cares about them. these are the few good men.

"real" men are bull. they end up alone. (insert reason). men like them that i know of are going to get mirrors for their xmas presents these year. since they only care the most about themselves, i'm going to give them the opportunity to meet their "wives".

hahahaha.

i'm really pissed. sheesh.

men ARE babies. all go suck thumb lah.

2008-12-02T01:23:00.002+08:00

HELLO DECEMBER

hahahaha. my favourite month of the whole entire year is finally here.. again!

dec5 start of bob's "holiday"
dec9 start of mocks. (mannnnnnnnnnnnnnn.)
dec18 is the release of TWILIGHT!
dec24 is an xmas party at my place. followed by midnight mass in church.
dec25 is another xmas party at my grandma's!
dec28 is my grandpa's birthday. he is suppose to turn 93.

and of course in between those dates are suppose to be 2 more secretsanta events. somemore present exchanges and xmas spirit too! haha.

its gonna be so damn awesome.

i love love love christmas. (: (:

i think my brother loves it too, he got sooo psyched up, he managed to contract the chicken pox. hahahaha.

over-enthusiasm is dangerous, people.

anyway, after helping him to apply calamine lotion all over the pox, i got so tired.

am gonna snooze and forsake my "will" to start on my books.

night.

2008-11-24T00:13:00.002+08:00

BREAKING DAWN

i'm done with the twilight series. the 4th book was fabulous! got it on thursday, was too occupied to continue on friday and finished it on sat morning! haha. seriously. now its just the movie. and perhaps the book based on edward's account that is going to be due soon. i think.

awesome-ness.

another weekend has come and gone. its another week less till christmas, but its even nearer to the mocks now.

good things don't come cheap..

this weekend was interesting. haha. if only i could explain why. lol.

alright. i have school in less than 12 hours, unfortunately. must go do some damage control.

or snooze accumulation.

bye.

2008-11-20T02:35:00.002+08:00

ECLIPSE

i'm done with the 3rd book, but this time at normal pace. started tues early morning, finished now. and my dad was kind to help finance my purchase for the 4th.

am definitely getting it tmr(later). haha. by crook, if need be.

i think i'm going to feel lost when i'm done with this series. there'll be no more to look forward to. oh, maybe just my imminent exams.

my study guide came. stupid stupid "signs".

if only money came along in the silver package. i only need $2,000. i would give it to someone whom i know who wants it more than me.

at least its well deserved. and i'll love to see that gleam in the eyes. haha.

the worst part is knowing what would have been.
- Bella Swan

boy, was she damn right.

2008-11-15T03:20:00.002+08:00

21

today, i had someone close take away something from me. it shouldnt be a big problem because it wasn't rightfully mine to begin with, but i still felt the pinch. i blame it on over-reliance, of course on my part. still, there's no justice to it.

i cannot quite describe how i feel about the matter right now. all i know is that its nowhere near being pleasant. and i'm sure given whatever hand that i'm dealt with now, i can't do much about it.

i probably wont wanna do much anyway. i believe i'm stronger than that.

anyway, i finally found the mood to watch the show "21" today. haha. i wished i paid more attention during primary and secondary school. somehow, i must have missed out on some fundamentals when my teacher taught "simple math".

imagine all the money rolling in. that ben fella did it for harvard. if it were me, i'll do it for independence.

haha. i really need sleep. and more alone time.

goodnight.

2008-11-11T01:24:00.002+08:00

NEW MOON

what have you been doing?

i have been trying to break my record when it comes to reading. i took one day to complete "twilight" and only 12hrs to complete "new moon". i seriously can't wait to get my hands on the other two editions.

damn! why must the book be sooo captivating. i dont know why critics compare it to the harry potter saga though. both are in different leagues. vampires aren't wizards what. haha. prolly they meant the "hype".

but ladies, please read it. you'll literally shame the boys on Earth because just by merely reading this book, you'll fall right smack down on the floors of love for Edward Cullen, aka vampire boy.

intriguing.. and please dont be quick to associate the fella who played cedric diggory in harrypotter with the lead. it sort of impaires your imagination of what the author whats him to be like.

ahh, i'm blabbering too much.

my mocks are starting in (gasp!) two freaking weeks. i sense deja vu.

i better start planning to save myself from myself.

goodnight. goodnight gerald. (:

2008-11-05T15:31:00.002+08:00

LAST WALTZ.

last night, i dragged my brother to face his internal barrier, which involves actually sitting through the hsm3 movie. i think he just finds it embarrassing, and that it'd de-masculine him or sth along that line, obviously nothing to do with the plot of the show. (which is ridiculous because he has watched hsm1 and hsm2 before). i even offer sherman to come along, to increase testosterone level in the car.

so after the movie (he even bought the tickets!), i turned to him and said "so how's the movie? good right?".

he said "yah" (insert display of smile and dimples).

HAHA. so everyone please watch it. its really THHHHHAAAAAATTT good.

with that aside...,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ILI NADIRAH! its time you've caught up with us 20year olds already.

2008-10-30T16:43:00.002+08:00

I THINK I KNOW YOU

max loong looks hotter with shorter hair. i wonder why no one told him that. don't stars have stylist or sth? ohwell.

soccer last tuesday was awesome. haha. tcj came and she proudly exclaimed that she has watched hsm3 THRICE already! like omg. after that i felt so compelled to do so too because the show is that good. seriously. even bob thinks so too. sigh.

to think that zac, vanessa and the rest were just ordinary teenagers before they landed their roles. now they practically make at least a million for each show. "at least".. i heard the more famous ones are making triple that amount.

haha. if only zac was my distant cousin.

anyway, this whole week wasn't fun. except for soccer on tues.

oh. and i feel like watching hsm3 again. prolly up cj's record by 1 movie if i'm financially permitted to do so. hahaha.

k so lets pray that money grows on money trees. now!

2008-10-28T01:12:00.003+08:00

NOSEY PARKER

these people categorized under this genre are interesting.

they like to cause and stir up nonsense so that it takes them out of their own depressing little world. and then when they feel that they've wrecked up enough damage, they'll go one corner and snicker to themselves. they'll gloat at other peoples' "misery" because thats the only way it'd make their own life seem more joyful.

sad sad imberciles.

but then again, without them, we wouldnt know who are the good people left.

so thanks babes.

hahaha.

2008-10-26T01:17:00.002+08:00

FOUR Gs.

i haven't been to school the whole of this week. (no dont be quick to judge). its the so-called one week "consultation" break that we're all given. haha.

i'm not being ungrateful, but i just think this whole week passed by too fast. like a blink of an eye. sigh.

as usual, i'm still not being a very good student. no wait, i've still not taken up the role of being a student at all. my surrogate-study-mama will be very disappointed.

i completed gossipgirl season1 though! (credits to cheenaboy). season2 please thanks.

anyway, there is suppose to be a family gathering at my house tmr. i believed is very overdued but ohwell.

i'm too bored to elaborate or continue.

oh, i wanna say that i have problems accessing my gmail account. and because of that, i shall not hold any responsibility for my HRM results. ^^

okay bye.

2008-10-07T02:10:00.002+08:00

WASABI WAIT.

my meek attempt at doing my ME hmwk is so lacklustre. totally substanceless, like the brains of some i know. sigh. sometimes i think i wrongfully take comfort in the fact that we dont have to submit anything up for gradings.

i can feel and sense a repetition of the many previous years coming up.

ohwell. c'lest vie.

anyway in class today, ili and i tried to be friendly to this girl whom we recognised as some SR student. but PWHOAR. she, the ghastly pale looking thing is damn rude.

"whats your name?"
"..... why? ... " (insert many unpleasant looks)

hahahha. sucker lah she. (thats only a portion of our disgusting conversation with her). i'm never going to talk to any s27 girls again.

sidetrack, vincent and i are waiting for macs to deliver! they take soooo freaking long. i stay just opposite kovan macs and i dont believe alot of people are calling in for food! and i know for sure that they have more than 2 dispatch riders on duty.

sigh. maybe they aren't motivated by money at all.

ha.

2008-10-04T03:52:00.002+08:00

HELLO OKTOBER.

its been a month of school and things still hasn't change abit. i'm still backward in my homework and self-revision (yes, this early in the term!!) and the thought of going to school is still dreadful.

other than that, this year seems tougher. the teachers are kinda more demanding. in other words, it feels more like a school, now.

because of that and my latenights, i'm still NOT YET DONE with prisonbreak3. super disappointing lah. everytime fatigue takes over because my bed looks ever so welcoming. sigh.

and i've been to swim like thrice in 2 weeks already. hahaha. thats more than i did in the last 6mths.

i thought i was lucky when i see bob and the rest peeling. but life is somehow fair.

i'm scaling at my shoulder blades now. and its really itchy. because i'm too lazy to go trim my fingernails, scratching is resulting in certain damages.

ha.

that aside, i'm still working on happy. (:

and, happy *belated hari raya all you cool sambal-loving, kueh-making folks!

2008-09-18T03:41:00.002+08:00

ISCREAM

i walked all the way to macs at midnight to buy a 70cents ice cream. alone. just the ipod and i. sheer therapy.

then i walked all the way to a friend's house, to get away from crap. thanks for the company babe. (: sneaky sia.

then i hitch a ride home.

after 2hours, it all comes back. i'm being too nice. i should have actually not give a shit and turn off the damn cellphone.

whats the point.

its a big gaping hole in between. communication is just a few decimals shy from being rated zero. and its always contradiction and lies with that fella. claiming to have my best interest.

HA. sucker.

i am going to have to leave. goodnight.

2008-09-15T23:23:00.002+08:00

VIOLENCE/ HA.

you know the saying "when people slap you on your right cheek, offer the left one too"?. well, for me its a bit different.

its not a slap for a slap.

its a slap, and then you get a punch back in return.

ili, if you dont know who i'm talking about, think!
(yes, same person. shocking right)

haha.

for a moment i thought i lost my right contact lens in my eye. i spent like a good amount of timing trying to pry my eye open for it.

in the end, i (thankfully) found in on the armrest. but the eye doesnt feel the same anymore. sigh.

anyway, thanks. alot.

please, dont ever do me any favours again.

you've done enough damage for the next two years already.

good riddance.

2008-09-09T03:12:00.002+08:00

MAKE IT HAPPEN.

i used to think it could possibly work out.

then bang!.

now i'm seeing millions of different reasons as to why it was wrong in the first place. all the naggings i had to endure from all the people surrounding me just to take "the leap".

now i'm the sucker.

because the rock i had isnt the type i thought it'd be. and i'm really tired of trying to see it in a different light. maybe there is no other "brighter" light.

afterall, i know the "slut" word was used. hahahah.

and because of that, i know it means nothing anymore.

its just like when i buy sth out of impulse, and regretting it later on. even if i dont dispose of it, i'll just chuck it away. it'd be so deep in my stash that maybe it'd be unearthed by the time i move out.

lol. if that even makes sense.

anyway, i'm not gonna do anything. this is evidence. ha.

till then. its over. i'm over.

2008-09-06T04:53:00.002+08:00

LETS BE VERBAL.

i use to think that if despite all of your own good will, people still dont believe you, then you should let go. or stop trying.

now i'm starting to acquire the hang of being vindictive.

either that, or i have this sudden urge to go against all my better judgement and just do sth wrong in the same manner so that it'd give the disbeliever something worth not trusting.

malicious eh.

i hate ending the day on a less-than-happy note. but hey, thats only me. apparently to others, it doesnt affect them. so i'm gonna play their game. they are gonna somehow be less than worth it.

especially if the person is so full of themselves, they wouldnt listen to a word anyone else say. its tiring to explain and explain. and then go back to square 1.

it takes two bloody hands to clap. but it only takes one pair of legs to walk away, or one to end it all.

bob, i'm not happy.

goodbye.

2008-09-02T02:56:00.002+08:00

OH, NOW THERE YOU HAVE IT

so i did what i've always been telling myself to do. i finally got down to giving my grandmother (and a few others) a lunch treat with the pay that i was once getting monthly. its like 150bucks man. then poof, empty plates and happy stomachs.

i had two dinners too! and not forgetting the charmee supper i had. sheeeeeesh.

hmm. i need to start getting my butt off its relax mode. like my brother who just completed his 10km nike run. i'm so gonna steal his tee and tag man.

maybe i should indulge in his lifestyle. freaking happening lah. like 1hr ago, he just told me he is going on a 40km night cycling expedition with his friend. !!!!

shut up.

haha. no wonder he is bones.

and oh! there's the tyra show on tv. HA, its been like 2.5mths of tv deprivation.

awesomeness. goodnight all.

2008-08-30T07:23:00.003+08:00

2.5 MTHS LATER

yesterday, 29aug was the last day of my work stint over at loyang.

yesterday was also like a party day at work because ppl were distributing food and everything everywhere. gosh, i'll actually miss that place and its people. haha.

this time round, somehow it feels more fun. i hope there'll be a next time round though. and i hope next time could measure up, or even be better.

on a real note, I'M NO LONGER RAKING IN THE DOUGH. SHIT.

i'm just looking forward to days where early-rising isnt a criteria. (yes, somehow it applies for school days too!). haha. its like hello to ridiculously (unhealthy) late nights once again.

lol.

alright, i'm going back to bed.

2008-08-23T08:02:00.002+08:00

ITS EARLY ENOUGH FOR GDMRNING.

hello peeps. i'm having a problem.

yesterday evening, my aunt happened to help me transfer stuff from her car to mine, and she commented "eh trina, your tyres look underinflated?".

it was then i realised i TOTALLY FORGOT about maintaining that portion of the car!

(or maintaining the car at all).

wait, and thats not all..

i dont even freaking know how much pressure to pump back in now. lets pray that its in the car manual (which i think i've misplaced.).

good luck me. >.<

2008-08-17T14:50:00.002+08:00

ESCAPADES

this weekend equates unfamiliar late nights for me. you see, ever since my work stint started, ever since my health backlashed occured, i've been a very very good daughter.

i'm so good, i think ppl might queue up to trade for me. hah.

but then as predicted (my parents even expected it all along), once i'm a bit better, i'll slowly but surely find my methods to seep back into the nightlife that i've been sucked in throughout these periods. its daunting.

of course, it isnt easy. i get sleepy and tired once midnight creeps by. the company sure made up for it though. i'm being very very unspecific here.. hahah.

anyway, i'm glad i spent half an hour in Mustafa at 130 in the morning. its "goodshows at cheap price" haven i tell you. i bought "Brothers & Sisters"!! i've been waiting for it all along, its high time Sg imported it in lah.

Sally Field makes me love Nora. Nora is the epitome of remarkability. haha. i love her imperfections because she isn't one of them pretenders. i love her family. ha.

and Tommy looks hot with this cut in his eyebrow. lol.

okay goodbye. i'm going to meet bob and eat snow ice now.

2008-08-10T00:10:00.002+08:00

IF YOU THINK ITS YOU, ITS NOT.

it is pathetic. i am pathetic. i cant walk. argh.

#@&&)(*@#&)*#$

on a brighter note, i'll just catch up on my tv (esp since TARA3 is coming on real soon) and do some networking. ^^

and maybe actually plan for my holiday. ppl are getting lazy. i figure that when you have all the details and everything sprawled in their faces, telling them that all they hafta do is to say okay and pay, the response rate would look better. it'd also increase the rate of actually being on a holiday!

which sounds perfect.

meanwhile, i feel like cutting my hair. its been way too long. i'll prolly pack my room as well, make the folks happier. haha.

and then i'll slowly resume my happier days(whatever that means). lol.

its easier to get out of something which doesnt seem right in the first place. stop the wastrel thing and start being productive.

on that note, i'm going to bed.

2008-08-09T01:26:00.002+08:00

PINKY AND IRONMAN.

work has beeeeeen awesome so far. majority of the peeps have gone on the company incentive trip to BKK. which leaves the skeletal few of us to keep it all together. haha. which equates to a happier environment.

its fun really. minus the slacking. today is also the last day for figo. (boohoo.) didnt expect to become as close as we have become. sucks to have your coffeebreak buddy abandon you. (his reason for refusing to extend is because of his upcoming Bintan and China trip)

dammit. (its like a HAHA to my face)

no more intellectual "pi la" nonsense. sighhhhhhhh.

on another tragic note, i have found incredible difficulty when it comes to walking now. hahah. seriously, i'm cultivating (yes, thats the word), severe lower back pains especially on the right. i cant manuoever and be as nimble anymore.

actually, i can't walk lah. ha. even if i do, its either i sponged in all the excruciating pain or i limp/straddle/swagger like a retard.

i'm even doing selective seating postures too.

its really bad. if only you could see me now. hahahha.

wish me luck. and HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!

2008-08-04T23:42:00.002+08:00

THREAD

i had the worst headache ever today. it started from the point i woke up and it hasnt stopped since. subsided maybe, only now though. the pain comes from the back of my head, the brain area. and it doesnt just hurt, it makes me dizzy and makes me wanna be jugglenaut(?spell)

i cant even spell the man's name now. i cant even think.

so i succumbed to the good ol' retail therapy method. bought some tees and am just waiting to see if this shipment will entice me to be a regular. hope not though, cos my work stint is ending soon.

my cash flow is coming to a halt. very soon.

caught "money not enough 2" a few days back. its a good show, really. but i chose a really awful time to catch it. it cuts the "wounds" open just as they were numbing and healing. makes me think about stuff i pushed all the way to the back of my memory. should have heeded my bro's advice.

but i didnt cry! haha. girls, beat that.

ugh. i feel horribly ill. havent felt okay in 2 weeks already. its like a tease because after one ailment goes away another sneaks up on me.

its precision, timing and flow is commendable.

i hate it.

and i'm popping pills like fisherman's friend.

ha.

pray for me. goodnight.

2008-07-30T22:55:00.002+08:00

LIKE HELLO IN A WHILE

the mojo to come here isnt happening. this explains the lack of updates or anything even remotely close to activity. anyway, i've been majorly ill.

got everything from fever to cough, stomachpains to near-fainting experiences. sucked. made me miss work for three consecutive days last week. thats a whole lot of moolahs not in my pocket.

ughhhhhh. but staying at home is good. i even went to the extent of shifting back under the same roof with my parents, to fully experience the TLC. haha.

and i'm not going to be going for soccer till september. firstly, i dont wanna run the risk of skipping anymore work. secondly, i have strict laws given by the doc and the family.

this doesnt just apply to soccer though. its suppose to be imposed on all sports.

enough said. my cough (new thing), is getting worst. i need my chilli fried food back!

and oh, "the dark knight" is the bomb. goodness...... heath oh heath, where art thou?

i'm going to watch nip/tuck.

bye!

2008-07-16T00:33:00.002+08:00

NO MORE TEEN.

i'm old because i've officially left the age group which ends with "teen". twenty seems so, senior? haha.

such a landmark year i reckon. my grandpa didnt get to see me through my teens. sigh. i miss him terribly. and i hate the fact that i'm finding it easier to hide it from my face now.

>.<

anyway! july13 started off with me being super tired! normally i would have stayed out till the wee hours in the morning of that sunday. maybe its the age.. but i reached home and slept before 130am! haha. i didnt wanna wake up after.

BUT. my bro and my cousin had to come and surprise me at 4am! hovering over my bed in the dark and making "hur hur" sounds. GOODNESS, i almost thought i was in the movie "strangers". but thanks love.

many other things happened before and after itself, but i'm too lazy to mention it. haha. whatever the case, a million gazillion thanks to all who made this birthday special in the smallest way possible! (:

and the gifts i've received are fantabulous. haha.

okay i'm gonna stop ranting now. i'm sleepy and its time to snooze.

goodnight!

2008-07-05T12:09:00.002+08:00

SIMPLE YET OVERLOOKED.

in a blink of an eye, July would have come and gone. then august will receive the same treatment. soon enough, school will start. >.<

anyway, i feel people also put in meticulous effort to make sure the bigger issue gets resolved. or they take great pains to give great/big/expensive gifts. haha. yes its very very welcoming, but if they neglect the small things along the way, they kinda missed the whole point.

i think i'm a slut because i'm not contented. even after the 2Ws are parked in my place, even though i was really really ecstatic the first few days, its not enough.

no i'm not materialistic. i'm just being human.

and human beings have feelings. why not just do that.

2008-07-04T00:28:00.003+08:00

TVNIGHT, THURSDAY

night cycling murdered my knees on tuesday night. i had to skip work on wednesday just so i could visit my chinese physician. i needa see him in order to even think about walking. haha. its ridiculous.

anyway, thursday nights rock because there's this whole continuous list of tvshows to watch.

this episode of ANTM is rather disappointing. there's no inkling of another "jaslene" or even "naima" out there. but i think heather, albeit her autism, is the judges' favourite. she definitely looks better during her photoshoots than any other time, for sure!

and there's the contenter asia!

i dont know why i didnt watch it when they aired on AXN previously. luckily channel5 showed it because its awesome. tonight's fight was awesome. (its not really as exciting because i know who made it through and who won already). but just seeing these men pin their hearts out for muay thai is pwhoar!

i know john wayne parr was the crowd fav during his finals despite his lost to that thai fella. (like come on, its muay thai! who else will emerge the victor when there's a thai on the squad!!)

but i dont think he was the highlight. zidov stole the whole show. the fact that he stood up despite all those hard punches and kicks thrown to him by someone much heavier than him is enough to garner all the respect in the world!

(not forgetting the fact that he is fathering Maia Lee's unborn child). haha. that one is a shocker.

on top of his personality and his determination, he is actually not bad looking man. haha. see it yourself. and his tattoos are vavavoom too.

handsome boy lah..

RESPECT! (:

2008-06-30T10:43:00.002+08:00

HAHAHA.

THE SPAINISH GIANTS WON! (like i've all along predicted)

awesome awesome awesome.

anyway, victory all aside, its time to make it up to figo.

>.<

2008-06-26T23:35:00.002+08:00

THE ANNUAL FLIGHT

i thought working equates more money to save, for my year end indulgence. but apparently i'm spending more money ever since i've started work. and its only on food, and drinks and transportation.

like c'mon!

i have yet to participate in the GSS. i have yet to purchase the tix to watch the dance. i have yet to sleep for more than 12hrs. i have yet to bum around!!

so not fun.

and i have no opportunity to watch soccer at all. sigh.

decisions, decisions..

with the materialistic world aside, everything else is not moving properly. i'm super confused now.

like how now brown cow.

goodnight!

2008-06-22T04:10:00.002+08:00

HE SAYS SHE SAYS.

i like wind when it gets my hair tangled. means, it must be high speed winds. haha. its like the ones you feel when you're on the deck of a moving cruise ship or on a motorbike.

the bicycle, those less dangerous, just can't quite cut it.

anyway, there's this super super DUPER cool (and simply awesome) place we rode past. its called "River Edge". haha. he is going to buy the whole thing, and i'll pay the price of one unit to get the whole floor.

tsk tsk. haha. such imaginations, though ridiculous, does not fail to keep life just a little bit more fun.

then we went to sixth avenue to check out more real estate. (to the person that tipped me off: HELLO, I THINK ITS NOT REALLY THAT FANTASTIC LEH!!) so we went hollandV instead.

before heading home,

with high-speed winds blowing at your faces again, and butt cramps due to prolonged journey. everything in exchange for that adrenaline rush which i so yearn for.

haha! mission accomplished.

am going to bed.

2008-06-21T04:31:00.002+08:00

IF YOUR HEARTS NOT IN IT.

work is awesome for the week. i managed to find one cool makan kaki, albeit the little "youknowwhats". he already has plans for his future and is way more set on his goals than me.

kinda reminds me V. same ambition and all. ahha.

talking about him, i think he is my rock. he kinda keeps my sanity in check, despite all the (numerous) occasions i had to restrain myself before knocking him out, cold. brutal but in-your-face.

like what you said just an hour back makes sense to me. (but its not as if i hadnt thought along that path too). maybe you should do me a favour and drill all these analysis into that monkey's brain.

it'd definitely make my life so much easier.

regardless, i know i hafta take charge. i'm so sick and tired of degrading myself and sacrificing all for nothing. if people dont wanna see things from your perspective and only recognises change when it comes in their form, then these people dont know you well.

life, being already as complex as it is, doesnt require more issues to make it tougher.

so i'm set to do better! haha. slowly but surely.

goodnight!

2008-06-20T21:31:00.002+08:00

SOD IT?

my temper is my vice. whats yours?

of all people to not get me, it has to be you. of all the people to do shit, it must be you.

thats nice...

when that "one day" comes, i'm gonna not need this shit anymore. when that "one day" comes, i'm gonna be stronger.

when that "one day" comes, there's going to be no more need for your presence.

and yes, thats anger for you.

2008-06-19T00:43:00.003+08:00

HELLO THERE,

"liar liar pants on fire"

----------------------------------------

i'm going to turn in at 1am. 1.15am, latest. i'm so exhausted. maybe its work, but this time round, work seems less shit-like.

(btw, sleeping at one is the earliest timing i've encountered throughout this while. just yesterday, i slept at near four.)

i'll give it a month for the whole thing to sink in though. and then, maybe i'll evaluate the dread.

meanwhile, its not easy waking up so early in the morning everyday and doing office hours 5days a week! especially when you had months of time-less constraints!

so if you could, just cut me some slack.

thank you very much.

2008-06-11T15:28:00.003+08:00

LETS TALK ABOUT LDR.

i used to dread anything that requires long distances. like going over to jurong to collect something or even going to suntec for work last time.

last year when my work place was at loyang and even though i had a free ride to work every morning (kudos to the aunt), i still freaking dreaded it.

even though my jc was just two bus stops away from house, going on time still takes alot of effort from me! hence, i only actually do well at home. i'm not anti-social, neither am i lazy. i'm just a home-person.

anyway, i have this friend, WHO IS HAVING A LONG DISTANCE R/S.

whats unique about this is that, they've never met in person before. many will instantly take this to be a joke and doubt its gonna last. but when you actually read between the lines, whats important is how connected they feel, beyond their distances apart.

right? they've even made plans to meet up in 2yrs and actually see if it'd work. imagine seeing each other and getting used to habits only made known when you actually get to experience it. not forgetting the little intimacy and physical connection!! and i believe thats not the only think they'll hafta get used to. (HAHA you know what i mean).

impressive. i have an open-minded take on this.

the best part, the fella is french! HA.

i'm so going along with my friend to meet the frenchie. i just hope he'll take me with him, i'll make a very good moral support and i'll promise not to intrude on anything!

love surpasses all distances, yeah? i admire the fact that they were willing to do the necessary sacrifices despite all the major risks involved. (eg. what if its just a prank.)

i dont think its dubious though. at least this r/s their investing in seems more real than the r/s i see here around me. like so what if you've not met the fella, there's always photo sending and other advances in technology to help ease the gap.

good luck with that buddy. i still DONT MIND talking to frenchie on your behalf when youre away in camp. hahaha. (: (: (:

2008-06-09T03:50:00.002+08:00

HOME ALONE

staying away from the family isnt really very fun. it was cool for the first two weeks? but then sooner or later, it gets abit quiet.

my brother is staying out tonight and my parents are at lowland. my company for the night is my tv and my (sickening)cough. i felt like calling no one to come stayover. am too chilled to go entertain people, and am too overwhelmed by the inability to speak 3 sentences without coughing.

its really something special.

i suspect its the fried food i've been consuming, and perhaps the soft drinks. carl's junior is spoiling me with its refillable drinks and easy access to late-night fastfood. somebody should put a stop to it.

saw FSL the other night there too. goodness, cycling actually does reduces the size of one's butt! looks like 4000bucks well spent there. haha. of all places to bump into him as well... maybe its a sign. i should go tryout for EC again.

make more moolahs. make more moolahs.

have been talking to people about certain types of people. have been getting the same feedback over and over again. it seems like none of them bothers to let the issue affect them in any slightest way. i should heed the advice, i think. but i just cant stand the gloat or the peacock in the room. damn disgusting.

and the hypocrite. the fella who talks about people, and then becomes those people.

like wah! talk about "self-praise".

haha. i should go sleep before i give it all away.

goodnight.

2008-06-05T14:07:00.002+08:00

AFTERMATH

last night, i was pissed at something i shouldn't be affected by. maybe its the maternal instinct in me(women have that alot) that still lingers in the "must-care" department of the brain. it makes suckers out of us.

so in an attempt to appease myself, i ignited the GH3 spark and time passed damn fast! whizzed is the correct word. met V later for my 2nd dinner at punggol nasi lemak. then decided to stroll the estates. it was suppose to be therapeutic.

but i find myself feeling tired! GOODNESS! i blame it on the ease of transportation i can lay my hands on. my sling weighed a ton at that moment, but it only contains my wallet and keys.

along the journey we met this yellow car (completely unintentional if you must know). stopped to chat for a few seconds.

i lied when i say i couldnt see who was at the back of the car. sometimes i just dont want to see lah. anyway its just one fella, the fella who caused all these raw emotions that night.

not worth mentioning at that moment anyway.

then proceeded on to showing him the rest of the estate before letting him crash at my place for a couple of hours. watched FRIENDS back-to-back at 2 and he left after.

the part about coming my place to watch FRIENDS has been going on for about 2 days already. i firmly believe it might lead to a routine.

haha.

and i think i'm going to bathe and continue the day. bye.

2008-06-04T20:41:00.002+08:00

GENERAL REBOOT.

its been a month since his demise. haha. and no, it doesn't get easier. we just have to live with it. it feels weird talking to a picture of grandpa, and then not getting a response.

sucks alot, actually.

anyway, many other changes have taken place. you get to see who in your life is here to stay, and who are just passing by. sometimes, you get confused with mixed signals that you just totally deviate from your objective. which is tragic.

but people pull back from their offroad track. people like me, who are lucky enough.

i'm going to do myself a favour, and kinda erase the fictional facade people have attempted to inject in my life. its really retarded, on hindsight.

when two different backgrounds and personalities try to engage in conversation, the conversation just starts to evolve into a life of its own. this life, haven't got any solid groundings. this life, doesn't even stand a chance.

hello vincent, you were kinda right.

when somebody relies on too many given chances, the one who handles these opportunities out freely becomes naive and stupid.

so good riddance, leopard(s).

2008-05-30T02:06:00.001+08:00

BREATHING SPACE

where is mine?

2008-05-26T03:57:00.002+08:00

FLAB-BERLICIOUS

i spent a rather large part of today at my grandma's, eating and sleeping and eating somemore. a rather healthy lifestyle i reckon, if healthy equates good food and minimal movement/activity.

doesnt matter. at least life like this has lots of joy.

i met up with the woods and MG later in that evening. (i'm sorry i had to miss the concert). despite the fact that we all meet up very very un-oftenly, all the good times doesnt seem so foreign. haha.

anyway, i left a roll of film with someone and i'm going to take it back to develop soon. at least i know that when its with me, i get to see the actual photos after a while, instead of leaving it at some table in someone else's place. waste of time.

and i hafta remember to pay my parking fine. haha. stupid shit. to think that i actually psycho-ed myself to believe that it was free parking!

really dumb. ha!

2008-05-23T00:44:00.002+08:00

AI7

initially it was the wait was agonising. the final two performance wasnt very good for dcook. simon even went and said it was a knockout win for darch.

then came the 2hours long results show.

the davids.

the stupid result announcement which took like eternity.

despite all, simon apologized for the previous night's comment. HA! and then like all awesome singers of the show, he emerged the winner!

american idol 2008!

DAVID COOK.

after that relief, nothing else mattered.

now i cant wait for his album release.

(but arch was good too. cook just deserved the win.)

(: (: (:

2008-05-15T03:09:00.001+08:00

PAPERCUT

i dont want i dont want i dont want.

i reallyreallyreally dont.

how's that for finality.

2008-05-14T02:16:00.002+08:00

SO THEY SAY.

despite it all, life still goes on.

although i dont hang out as often already, i'm still hearing things from people. thanks for the updates, its really interesting!

now that word has it that the "ABC" is already known throughout the group, i'm wondering just how long does it take for it to take effect. bcos the guys there just like to talk. just talk.

school is over. *yay*. thats only because we're in the midst of exams. *boo*.

i've never felt so ____ for a major exam before. jialat.

and i need to really make that long-overdued trip down to the national library!! i need the stupid book.

rah.

2008-05-09T02:41:00.002+08:00

MY 080508.

it sucked.

its not because i have an econs exam paper today. its not because i have to travel all the way to expo to sit in the same exam hall as a few thousand over students who are taking the same paper as me. its not because my nose was runny the whole entire 3hrs that i have to resort to asking the invigilator for toilet paper (bcos they have no tissue paper) to blow my nose.

no. its not that.

it is the day, when everything is over. the whole white tentage will be down (or is already down as of now). its the day for goodbyes, the final ones. its the day when fire looked so evil and nothing could stop the imminent sick factor of seeing someone you love turn to ashes.

everyone will be down to collect the remains tmr at mandai. everyone except two. i will be at expo again taking the stupid statistics1 exam. guillaume will be at his sch taking his compo paper too. everyone but the both of us will be there.

boy do i hate the education system. another reason why i dislike the current exam period.

some would be wondering why am i so hard-up over this. its not like i'm the only person who lost a grandfather. haha. i agree to that.

but its not as if they had a grandfather who sat with them in class throughout their whole nursery year, making him the oldest student any teacher has ever had present in class everyday.

its the heartache i can't tolerate. there isnt any visual left of his presence. photos arent quite enough.

and seeing the way the whole situation pains my grandmother makes it all worst.

gatherings would never be the same again. no more towkay sitting at the end of the table. no more old man sitting on his lazy-boy watching wrestling. no more him.

yes i am very bitter about it.

and i still blame those (useless) doctors. bloody retards. why study so hard for that certificate when your best is obviously not good enough.

in consolation, people tell us to take it easy and that death has to come inevitably.

and because of that, i blame God. he put us all on this earth and he takes us away after our purpose is done. we're just like his puppets. its as if he is playing Sims.

he better take care of my old man. and he better relieve my family of their sorrow and grief. he better work his magic to make it all better.

he better.

2008-05-05T01:15:00.002+08:00

LAO HERO,

ninty-two years was a long journey for anyone to go through, but you made it. you've always been this special person, wholesome and strong. you were tasked with being the head of us all, i could never ask for someone else better.

no one would have done it better than you did.

you made our imperfections seem flawless. you teach us to persevere and keep the faith. you've always said God doesnt deny us from our prayers, he is merely just trying to test the limit that we are willing to fork out for what we've asked for. he wants us to earn it you see, bcos by doing so, the success tastes sweeter.

i admire your bravery. the courage you have to see you through putting all your hopes and dreams in the hands of the man above is just unfathomable. hats off to you, sir.

dont worry about the rest of us. we'll be good. and grandma will be fine. she is as strong as you, and thats good enough an example for us to follow through this period of internal turmoil. (and shit).

i'll make extra sure no one bullies her behind your back ok. (though i know you've already got that covered.)

haha.

i miss you already, oldman. and that sucks. like a whole lot.

but you're in a better place now. a place without a whole lot of ugly that earth has in store. soon enough, someday i'll still see you again. and when the time comes, i expect to see you healthy, fit and really really good-looking. haha.

and we'll play chinese chess then! i'll up my game for sure. winning you once really isnt enough!

so take care! say hi to paradise for me.

...

i love you very much grandpa. i hope you know it.

(i'm not just saying it because its 040508. i really really do!)

dont miss us much! (:

2008-05-04T03:37:00.002+08:00

TWB COUNTDOWN.

bbqs are interesting. i used to think having a bbq means just eating barbequed food in a hot environment filled with a lot of noise, occasional perspiration and weight gain.

i was wrong.

the behind-the-scenes part is the one that brought the "new light".

there's a problem with task-assignment, planning, booking, buying and cleaning up. but all holds nothing against the M-word. (yes it has 5letters and rhymes with honey).

it builds and yet destroys relationships.

haha. the irony.

on another note, its almost coming to a month already.

DAMN! so fast.

now my exams are really coming..

2008-05-01T06:34:00.003+08:00

ON TOP OF THE WORLD.

usually this doesnt happen. usually i'm be so dead in slumber by now, it wont be another 8 hours before i resume my normal activities.

yes, that includes waking up.

people always have this misconception about me; that i sleep so much. to the extent that waking up is optional.

by the term "waking", it doesnt mean the normal opening of eyes. no. it means opening the eyes till about another 12hrs at least before the sleep monster attacks again.

yes, i rarely do that. (surprise, surprise). my opening of eyes usually lasts till after my meal. very quickly, as if its magic, i'll start to feel the usual sleepiness after eating or doing any activity, and within the next hour i'll be again, unconscious.

love the feeling. makes the days so much shorter.

but now i cant seem to fall asleep! which sucks bcos i have a long labour-day ahead of me to keep awake.

ughhh.

i need to pee. bye.

2008-04-28T03:48:00.002+08:00

KILLER

i faced apprehension in the eye today.

i took the plunge, there were times i felt better.

but i won.

i just needed to get it on record.

2008-04-25T00:27:00.002+08:00

HEART LIKE COPPER

today was suppose to be a good day. but shit happens.

now i couldnt care less. really. i did nothing the whole day.

then came evening when my folks brought the brother and i to visit our grandpa. we went to this super cool icecrm place after. its things like horlicks-flavoured ice cream that really does the trick.

b is gonna love it.

haha

what a freaking bitter day.

2008-04-22T06:09:00.002+08:00

GOODMORNING 6AM.

my right thumb and index is so blistered because i tried to fix the DIY boxes i got from ikea like eons ago. why do they make us screw the things with our fingers?

thats so horrid. i was so not prepared for the consequence.

haha.

anyway, i just read janice's blog. wanted to take the first peek long ago, but it always slipped my mind. i'm glad it struck me just though.

she is disgusting. SERIOUSLY! like pwhoar, profanities were conjuring in my brain while i read her entries, some not even invented yet. tsk.

for example, i'm okay with people posting all sorts of pictures of themselves in their blog's. i mean, its their story you see. but her's went overboard with all that model-wannabe thing. (captions too)

her's screamed "my cousins are all pigs!". of course, metaphorically.

hahahah.

i wanna take her camera and smack her face.

but she kept me reading on though. so thats some good blogging shit. i had to coax myself to stop clicking "previous".

good job janice. (:

2008-04-21T03:33:00.002+08:00

FAR AWAY

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go

i love Nickelback.

2008-04-15T02:48:00.002+08:00

ZIT.s

mayday, mayday. i have a huge pimple on my nose. again.

is there a problem with the way i breathe or something? why nose? sheesh.

anyway, the dad is now in the skies now travelling across the oceans to Norway. interesting country to set foot on, eh. i know he is kinda reluctant on that. i would gladly go on his behalf though but i have (sickening) school.

haha. whats new.

nowadays i'm super super restless when i'm not on the move. its like, i can't even watch tv marathons anymore! ugh.

maybe its a sign.

eh people, lets go play paintball leh? please...

2008-04-11T11:14:00.002+08:00

UNO PROBLEMA

i can't seem to bring myself to attend ibm and socio classes. nowadays its better, because at least i wake up for it. last time i use to just pretend it doesnt concern me. but still, it aint enough.

i'm still not attending them.

like even after i bathe and am ready to leave the house, i get the devil in me telling me "why for".

and then i succumb to that. and watch lousy tv in the morning.

i need rehab for this.

fast.

2008-04-09T04:43:00.002+08:00

THE ONE WHERE POOL DID IT

it was a good run. liverpool did what i know they had in them all along. they are really the epitome of "never say die".

and okay lah. to be fair, the gunners are really on the road to being "the goners" this 2008.

fabregas!! what happened?!

anyway, kudos to THEO WALCOTT. (: (: (:

seriously.

the run he made which famed adebayor for arsn's 2nd was awesome!

prodigy lah he.

2008-04-06T01:55:00.002+08:00

A BIENTOS'

less than one more month to may.

DIE.

must..start..mugging. soon. (yes i know i'm terrible)

my finger still hurts. you only realised the importance of a finger till you lose its function. the vast difference it makes is sometimes unthinkable. even normal day to day actions can make you reel in pain.

i'm sorry finger. i promise not to slam the door on you ever again.

haha.

i'm bored. am going to start being back home early now. for now, i meant.

have fun in taiwan, you. thanks for temporarily taking away another distraction from studying. (:

goodnight. i'm really going INto church tmr.

2008-04-04T03:19:00.002+08:00

SOMETIMES, LIFE GETS YOU BACK.

i have learned, never to overestimate your ability to handle something big and dangerous. even if there was encouragement and no obvious disagreement.

even though you have tried the similar stunt before!

anyway its my fault lah. i shouldnt have asked for permission or even harbour such thoughts over his beloved bluemachine. he was just being nice, i reckon. so, i let the adrenaline rush overwhelmed me.

its only the mere biting point! haha. i let it run for about a second, and then i realised i havent got the strength to balance it properly when it stops. i should have known better. even bringing it straight up without its stand is already eating up almost all of my energy.

but people always succumb to stupidity. likewise for me.

when i wobbled, he even tried to help me counter the weight. but because the stupid road was still slippery due to the rain, he slipped and fell! ohman, my heart dropped. its like, in order to save me and break the fall, he had to injure himself.

i felt like shit.

because of him, i had ample time to remove my left leg from under the weight of the bike. haha. i only got wounds on my left elbow. he had no fault to play but ended up with wounds on his knee! and of cos, slight damages to his ride.

guilt is eating me up. (i'm really sorry, lms!)

and the first thing he told me after it all was "bu yao zi ze". ARGH. and all i had to do was to not fall/drop like what he told me before.

dammit lah kat.

after it all, i even accidentally slammed the car door on my finger cos my elbow couldnt react properly. i think i deserved it. haha.

this is why, i'm spotting a blue, swollen and really abnormal index now. cool eh.

2008-04-01T02:58:00.002+08:00

APRIL'S FOOL

hello everyone. i just played my first prank.

hahahahahhahahaha.

its a very good one indeed. poor boy got so shaken up, he almost wanted to 'bamboo' someone. hehh.

and i'm boreddddddddddddddddd. already.

but since there's school tmr at 930 and the sickenining month of may is coming, i shall go to bed now.

goodnight.

2008-03-28T15:46:00.003+08:00

FELINE ROADKILL

driving really does require a large amount of concentration and alertness. there's always trick signs and concealed entrances to small roads and even smaller vehicles around. driving isnt mentally draining though, its only after you stopped driving then you'll realise how much sleep you yearn.

either that. or you can just focus on getting to your destination, and not the journey.

so thats what i did. it was at about 6plus in the evening when the sun's going down and its not yet time to turn on the headlights yet. some people still turn them on though, i just find it uncool to do so when its not fully dark. despite that, my vision is still good.

i say good, i didnt imply crystal clear.

the road outside my house was doing some repairs, so there were patches of darker roads here and there (very ugly). i'm so tired of guessing whether or not its a porthole so i just drove through anyway. everything was still good, until about 10m near the next junction, there was another ominous-looking piece of black thing on the floor. (to me, it could either be those black trashbags or cardboard or stuff again). i did what i've been doing, and just drove by anyway.

i'm sure i made it go right underneath my car, between my two front tyres, just to be safe. but i still hear a thud. i thought someone dropped their bag or sth because the road was just outside the gate of a stretch of terrace houses. whatever that went under my car was definitely not flat.

and also when youre driving at 80km/hr on small roads, you dont really get to decipher what you see properly. especially given the current lighting. and i was on a rush.

haha. i just brushed it off.

met up with mw and we went to eat in kovan. after everything, we drove back to exchange vehicles and along the way, we passed by that same road.

BUT, this time its a whole new discovery.

you see, at that point of time, his headlights had to be already turned on (traffic rules). so the road on the floor is actually very visible, and due to many vehicles which were parked randomly in many different positions along that road, he drove slower too. approaching the same 'black spot', he slowed down to catch whats on the floor (something i didnt do). and then he said,

"oh man, someone ran over a cat."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ITS NOT ME. I'M SURE. the black dead cat was already on the freaking floor!

it was lying on its left side, facing oncoming traggic. most horrible pose for a cat especially on a road thats always being sped on. the cat still had its collar on please! and its dead. eyes open.

feeling extremely disgusted, i related my story to him. i'm super positive that i didnt run my wheels over the cat! the thud came from the underneath of the car i think. or maybe my wheels ran over its legs? okay, i dont know which is worst.

I DIDNT KILL THE DEAD CAT.

we moved from whether or not i ran over the dead cat's body to how furious we'll be if we were the owners of the house the dead cat died in front of. imagine how inauspicious and dirty and ugly and disgusting and revolting it'd be!

damn the driver who knocked out the cat. damn him for hitting and running like christopher lee.

anyway, when i reached home at about 4am, i had to drive by that road again and i made sure i slowed down to look into that particular lane two lanes down from mine. the cat is not there anymore. but its imprints and blood were like sprawled over a larger area then its body took. other people must have done what i've did, or worst.

ha..

RIP, red-collared cat.

2008-03-24T15:48:00.001+08:00

RAH!

if i can explode into a million pieces right now, i will.

but even then, you still won't understand how i feel!

now, that sucks.

2008-03-22T23:43:00.002+08:00

LIFE IS GOOD (IN A BUBBLE)

generousity visited my parents today. they finally (out of own will), bought guitar heroesIII ! hahaha. i just went over and played like the whole thing with my brother. super duper awesome!

its a sat night and i'm home. haha.

and i'm starting to get irritated at myself for getting affected by situations so easily. which is so not cool. i try to remain nonchalant but then sometimes people just cross the line.

like you. my life definitely doesnt revolve around you so stop acting like it is. you say you care, and i agree to that. but its sad to know that that care comes from an obligation, and not because you want to. dont say that you feel that there isnt enough time especially when you suck at time management.

and i'll appreciate it if you dont assume that i'll be there for you whenever and wherever. cos you dont really deserve it. eg. calling me after you finish clubbing, expecting me to pick up.

thats nonsense.

2008-03-21T02:54:00.002+08:00

WHEN THE LIGHTS GO OFF

i am seriously going to suffer if i can afford a house without the ability to afford a maid as well!

like today. i swept the entire house clean, or at least i tried. sweeping actually takes some game! the dirt never really stays clear of the areas you've swept before! its really demoralising.

and it gives me lowerback pain.

RAH!

that aside, i really really am disappointed with _____.

like come on! urgh.

2008-03-17T17:19:00.002+08:00

WHATS YOUR FLAVOUR.

i just woke up. because someone only made it possible for me to go to bed at 6plus in the morning. tsk. (thank you very much eh)

the starbucks clan just celebrated the flea's belated birthday a few hours back. its interesting to see how much change can impact everyone's life in a timespan of just a mere few weeks. but despite it all, we're still tight as a unit right. haha.

anyway i feel horrible.

but i know my grandma feels worse given her current situation. then again, i think my grandpa has his fair share of ugly feelings too.

so i'm not suppose to complain.

haha. i'll just be good and go watch ellen now.

bye.

2008-03-14T02:51:00.002+08:00

HYPOTHETICALLY, NO.

i was shoo-ed from mountE. being the awesome sister that i am, i was suppose to be accompanying my brother throughout the night till my mother comes back in the morning. although i know that visitors are not allowed after visiting hours, i still stayed(hid). anyway, 4334 was situated at the end, people/nurses dont usually make their rounds there unless the patients ring them to! right?

but i got caught. cos it was my brother's medication time.

DAMN.

i cabbed home after. and i'm really bored now.

i used to envy people who lived alone. by people i meant young ones, not those old creepy ones that you seen in movies who has ten thousand cats running around. living alone entails freedom, hence my house is really just a house.

but it isnt that great afterall. the freedom thing usually wears off after a while, for me at least cos i'm really lazy. living alone is really quiet. and there's always the responsibility of cleaning and ensuring that the house is fully secured whenever you decide to leave. or sleep.

and no, my mom refuses to send our maid over to help clean this unit up. she says its for my own good.

haha. its true though cos i've learnt from this. i've learned that i need to get a job that allows to me employ a maid when i'm living alone in the future. its either that or i get a really good husband.

option A is still better. i dont like the rest of the strings attached that comes with the other option.

pardon my ranting, i'm really that bored.

and hungry.

alright, i'm going to eat.

and its already 3am! hello ELLEN. (: